


from a place of love

by sakradevi



Series: Valktober 2020 [2]
Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Anxious Shu, Canon Universe, Costume Parties & Masquerades, First Kiss, Formalwear, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Requited Love, Slow Dancing, awkward teenagers, except for them because they're (jazz hands) dumbasses, he deserves it, literally EVERYONE at yumenosaki knows these two are in love with each other, requited love except they're both stupid, the oddballs playfully bully shu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 08:34:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26848990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sakradevi/pseuds/sakradevi
Summary: Shu was busy. He was in the middle of having a mental breakdown over this stupid social event he had to go to.But at least Mika would be there by his side.Shu and Mika are invited to a formal event. They’re both in love with each other but it takes a gentle push and a shove from their friends for them to realize it.
Relationships: Itsuki Shuu/Kagehira Mika, Kagehira Mika & Narukami Arashi, Kagehira Mika & Sakasaki Natsume, Oddballs & Shuu Itsuki
Series: Valktober 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1946128
Comments: 9
Kudos: 73
Collections: Valktober 2020





	from a place of love

**Author's Note:**

> title is from the mili song by the same name. PLEASE go listen to it it’s so soft and cute and i couldn’t get it out of my head while writing this 
> 
> (stan mili she’s on spotify)
> 
> anyways
> 
> HOOO BOY HERE WE GO. i hope y’all enjoy this one :,) 
> 
> my submission for week 2 of valktober 2020! theme was "activities" and my sub prompt was "formal." look i just wanted them to be in suits okay
> 
> UHHHH ALSO this ended up being WAY longer than i expected tbh so uh. eat up
> 
> also once again huuuuge thank you to [chie](http://archiveofourown.org/users/thesweetsaddict/) for putting up with my drafts and nonsensical notes (beta reading)!!

Shu Itsuki _despised_ parties. 

Of course, parties and social gatherings weren’t the only thing he hated. There were plenty of other things he despised. Crowds, loud people, people who don’t understand him, people who dress too scantily... the list went on. Parties just so happened to encompass most of those dislikes. He didn’t see _why_ anyone would want to go to a party on their own volition. This specific party in question was nothing more than a way to keep up appearances. It was socially important, but that was about it. 

The one he was going to tonight was supposedly some sort of congratulatory service held by Yumenosaki, celebrating the hard work of all the idol units over the past few months. Shu didn’t really care for all the details, so he wasn’t entirely sure what the occasion was. Anyhow, he had to attend. It was like an unwritten code. After all, Valkyrie’s reputation was at stake. Shuddering, the thought of all the gossip he’d hear for weeks, maybe months, if Valkyrie was absent haunted him. That’s definitely a “no thank you” to that. Being Shu Itsuki, it wasn’t as if he didn’t have enough things to worry about already, keeping his mind occupied at all times. 

The least of which was his… _relationship_ with his unit mate. 

If someone were to ask him about his relationship with Mika, he’d tell them that he could simply tolerate him. But on the inside? Those feelings were far more complicated. Ever since ex-Valkyrie’s final performance together, Shu’s spent quite a lot of time thinking about his feelings for Mika. 

After all, they’ve come to spend a lot of time together. Mika was living in his house now. It was kind of hard to _not_ spend at least some part of the day with him. Plus, Valkyrie was now just the two of them. They were practically confined to each other solely on the basis of what their unit work required. So, they didn’t necessarily have much of a choice when it came to how much time they would spend together. Whether it was for Valkyrie-related activities, or just during their private downtime, they always seemed to be with the other. Still, though. It wasn’t like they were a _couple_ or anything.

(Even though Shu wants them to be. Just a little bit. A really small amount. Like, a teaspoon.)

… Yeah, he’s lying. He _really_ wants them to be _something._ More than friends, more than unit mates. Maybe not, like, _married_ or anything. That’d be going way too far.

But… dating? Being an item? Being exclusive? Being Mika’s _main squeeze?_ Just the thought of that made him fidget in place, hands clenched into fists at his sides. Yeah, Shu liked the sound of that. Thinking about being Mika’s… _significant other_ was something that he’d been having trouble getting off of his mind. The mere thought of being called Mika’s boyfriend sent a flood of warmth to his cheeks. But like any 18 year-old with a crush, it was more accurate to say that practically every waking minute was occupied with thoughts about Mika. Thinking about Mika, about what he meant to him, about their future together—both in and out of Valkyrie—sparked a warmth within him that he hadn’t felt in god knows how long. 

Those ideas were definitely something he could get behind. Being together with Mika like that… that’d be nice. 

Holding Mika’s hand, taking him out to nice places, making him nice clothes, wearing matching outfits together (with Mademoiselle, too, of course), laying in bed together, maybe even stealing _kisses_ here and there…

He shook his head. This was no time for his hopeless romantic thoughts to be making an appearance.

He was busy. He was in the middle of having a mental breakdown over this stupid social event he _had_ to go to, for god’s sake. Hopeless pining over Mika Kagehira would have to wait. That wasn't even scheduled in his calendar until _at least_ 10 PM, after Mika had already crawled into bed on a usual night. If Shu was going to have an internal crisis at the state of his feelings towards Mika, at the very least he could be organized about it. 

Anyways, back to Shu’s scheduled mental breakdown over having to interact with people. Too many people. People that he didn’t necessarily care for, or want to see under most circumstances. Some people that he wanted absolutely nothing to do with for as long as he’ll live.

With a rapidly accelerating heart rate, the anxiety concerning tonight’s event floods his mind, drowning out all other thoughts. 

Inhale. Hold for two seconds. Exhale. Repeat.

The shaky, quickening breaths he harshly began to pant out were steadied as he performed some simple breathing exercises to calm himself down. It’s been awhile since he last stumbled into a depressive, downward spiral. At least now he has the foresight to recognize that there was no point in getting overly anxious or stressed about this event. Those worries would just make the experience worse for himself and everyone who had to witness _that._ Grounding himself, Shu begins to make a list of positive outcomes. 

For starters, Mika would be there by his side. 

He liked having Mika with him. Mika’s gentle nature, the sound of his laughter, his delicate features… everything about him always exerted a calming presence on Shu. In comparison, Shu was always so high strung, panicking over one thing or another (usually, over something that didn’t even necessitate a panic, but he did it anyway. What? He was always one to outdo himself). While Mika could also be seen as… somewhat of a disaster of a functioning human being, there were several types of situations where he could definitely be considered the more rational one between the two of them.

The sound of heels clicking against the marble tile shattered the silence that blanketed the dressing room, breaking Shu out of his thoughts. Swivelling his head towards the sound, Mika’s figure entering Shu’s line of sight offers a pleasant surprise. Looking him up and down, he noticed Mika wearing the outfit he had picked out for the two of them. Mika was wearing a red button down shirt with a black tie, a matching pair of black slacks and a black blazer to accent the deep red of his shirt. To top off the look, a small gold rose brooch was pinned on the chest area of his blazer.

Shu always thought that Mika’s everyday casual look was a bit messy, but charming. Cute, if he was to be honest. It suited his happy-go-lucky personality and brought contrast to his soft and delicate features. But this outfit? The way he was dressed right now, looking up at Shu with a gentle smile on his face and a twinkle in his eyes? Goodbye socially anxious thoughts and perpetual existential dread at the thought of being stuck with a crowd of people Shu couldn’t stand. Instead, cue him becoming flustered beyond belief over how Mika was dressed—blazer hugging his form, pants cut in a way that accentuated the natural length of his legs, the red highlighting the warmth running through his cheeks. Whether that was just from the slight chill in the air, or if it was from Mika feeling a little flustered, showing off himself in this outfit to Shu for the first time. With these clothes on, he looked much cleaner. The roughness around his edges eroded as he was wearing something distinctly crisp and fresh. Shu swears he’s probably wearing a nice cologne, too. All in all, this look on him was _attractive._ He looked _really really good._ _Handsome_ , even. Shu could stare at Mika dressed like this forever, he just couldn’t take his—

“Oshi-san? ‘s somethin’ the matter? Yer starin’, yanno… Oh! Oh no, do I look weird or somethin’? ‘s there somethin’ on m’face? Waah, we gotta get goin’ soon so ‘s not like I gotta whole lotta time t’change or anythin’. Plus we can’t really change to a different set of outfits or anythin’, cuz we’re matchin’ an’ all… heh~” Mika rambled, breaking Shu out of his train of thoughts. Mika nonchalantly began scratching at his chin as he flashed Shu an endearing look, lips curling up into a smile. 

It’s true, they _were_ matching. Though their outfits weren’t identical, they complemented each other. Like Mika, Shu was wearing the same dress shirt-blazer-slacks combo, except the colors of his outfit were inverted. Always with an eye for detail, Shu made sure that he also had a gold rose brooch adorned on his blazer.

Shu didn’t look like he was out of his element when he was dressed so formally. After all, years of having to attend social events at his family’s wishes had prepared him for nights like this, where he had to look sharper than usual. But dressing like this together with Mika, they looked… elegant. Of course, their unit outfits were also high-class, since they were masterfully-crafted by Shu himself. And whenever they matched, they looked good together. Somehow they always managed to complement the other’s features perfectly. It was natural. 

But the outfits they were wearing right now evoked a new connection or feeling between them that wasn’t usually as obvious in their dynamic. It was as if these outfits reflected how from the beginning, they were each other’s counterpart. Like two parts from one, coming together to create a whole. If an outsider saw them and didn’t know better, they’d probably assume that they were a couple. 

Shu wouldn’t correct them. 

“Uhhh,” Shu finally spat out, a blank expression plastered on his face as he stared down Mika, eyes darting from his chest to his collarbone before eventually meeting his eyes. There wasn’t a single cohesive thought running through his head right now. Absolutely nothing. Instead, all he could think of was how good Mika looked right now. “I was simply lost in my own thoughts. You know how I get when we have to go to big gatherings. It’s nothing out of the ordinary. But enough about me. You look nice tonight.” 

“Uwaaahhh, well thank ya muchly, Oshi-san!” Mika replied in a sing-song voice. A warm grin spread across his face at the compliment. “Yanno, yer not lookin’ too bad yerself. Yer tie’s still not done yet, though… Here, lemme help ya out!”

Reaching a hand up to his collarbone, he felt the fabric of his tie. While mentally preparing himself for such a large social adventure—spiraling down a rabbithole of anxious thoughts in the process— he must’ve absentmindedly left it there on accident. What a mess he was. 

At the risk of overthinking the most minor details and occurrences in his life, he hoped Mika didn’t think he was scatterbrained and disorganized. Even if his mind was running a thousand miles a minute, at the very least he wanted to have the appearance of seeming put together.

With a spring in his step, Mika began to make his way towards Shu. Reaching up, he took the ends of Shu’s tie in his hands and began to tie them together. As he was focusing on his handiwork, Shu was… internally having a moment.

With Mika’s body now invading Shu’s personal space bubble, he became hyper aware of how close they were. The warmth of Mika’s hands so close to his neck nearly sent shivers down his spine, and feather light touches danced on his chest as Mika began to put together his tie. Discreetly, Shu leaned in closer to Mika, bending down slightly to discreetly inhale his scent. 

He smelled sweet, like a mixture of vanilla and cream, with a hint of lavender sprinkled in. Sweet things weren’t necessarily his favorite things in the world, but he loved Mika’s scent. Somehow, it filled him with a warmth he couldn’t get anywhere else. It was cozy. It was comforting.

It smelled like home. 

The slight pull of the tie against his neck as Mika fumbled a bit with the knot broke Shu out of his hazy daydream, induced by Mika’s intoxicating scent, of course. He was so cute, with his brows furrowed and his tongue sticking out just a bit as he concentrated on tying the knot. 

God, Shu was so _whipped._ It was ridiculous, really. For literal months, the only thing on his mind was Mika, Mika, _Mika._ The pining was intense—he was flung into the deep end real _fast_ and it was like he didn’t know how to swim, his thoughts consistently drowning in memories of Mika’s voice, his laughter, his smile, his everything. Even now, the littlest things like him leaning in close and tying his tie were enough to send Shu’s thoughts spiraling out of control. This brief interaction managed to light his cheeks ablaze, his eyes darting away to break eye contact. Just like this, thinking about how close Mika was was enough to make him forget about all of his troubles and worries. Well, more realistically, thinking about Mika made him focus his attention on a _different_ problem—his infatuation. 

Little does Shu know, though. Mika’s hands were trembling partially because he was naturally a klutz, always prone to causing some sort of accident or another. But right now, it was mostly because he’s nervous. Always, always, always—Mika wants to be the best version of himself for Shu. That extends down to minor tasks, like tying his tie. He’s nervous about making mistakes—even little ones—out of fear of being seen as inferior, or less than others. Years of trauma and abandonment issues conditioned him to live in this mindset. 

Even though he trusts Shu, he can’t help but pay some attention to the voices in the back of his mind. Sometimes they’re quiet, barely audible. Other times, they’re loud and nagging. Making him think about _what if Oshi-san gets fed up with him and gets rid of him and replaces him with someone else who’s waaaay better at doing everything and they’re not such a fuck up and what if him screwing up this dumb tie is the final straw in a long list of things Mika’s done to push him away. And then what if he snaps and decides_ —

This was, unfortunately, one of those moments. WIlling those negative thoughts to go away, Mika lets out a quiet, shaky breath as he refocuses his attention on Shu’s tie. If he’s distracted with something else then he won’t have time to pay any mind to the negativity that likes to run course through his mind. 

With an inhale to collect himself, he steadies his hands and loops one end of the tie through the hole he’s created with the knot. Inserting the other end and pulling it tight, Mika draws the ball of it up to Shu’s collar. Snug. 

Mika gives Shu a little smile as he looks up at him, hand absentmindedly resting on his chest. It’s obvious to him that Shu’s feeling uneasy at having to go to a place with a big crowd. _Especially_ since he’ll probably see Eichi there, among other people he couldn’t stand. Mika can feel anger rising in himself at the thought. But knowing that Shu’s internally facing a hurricane of emotions...

He wants to be there for him. More than ever. To comfort him when he knows he needs it the most. 

Because he loves him. 

… But he doesn’t want to be _obvious_ about it. Does he _look_ like someone who knows how to handle his feelings in a mature way? Absolutely not. 

He’s not going to tell him. Well, not to his face, at least. And certainly not verbally. Instead, he opts to show his love through little actions, like taking care of him, providing him with support, being there for him, and being always willing to listen to him.

Just like Shu, Mika’s going to pussyfoot around his feelings for his unit mate for however long he can keep the act up.

Until it breaks him.

… Or, more realistically, until someone else finds out his little secret. 

“Nnnh, there we go! Yer all fixed up now, ehehe,” Mika says, tilting his head to get a better look of his handiwork. He casually ran a hand through his hair, messing up the ends a bit. “Y’know, ya look _extra_ good now!”

“T-thank you.” Shu stammered out, face reddening at the compliment. Was Mika always this… flirty? Smirking, an idea came into his head. “But you’re not quite ready yet. Your tie’s not done properly. Here, let me fix it for you.”

Oh, Mika was absolutely ready. He looked perfect. His tie was impeccable: even, no wrinkles, and firmly tucked behind his blazer. But Shu couldn’t keep his hands off of him. An excuse to touch him would not be wasted.

Internally, Mika entered a mini panic session. He wonders for a brief moment if he somehow made it too messy or uneven or forgot to remove the wrinkles from it or something. Before he even had a chance to look down, Shu’s hands were already near his neck, loosening the knot he had made. Shu skillfully redid the entire tie, but he took his time as he did so. Touches lingering too long, gently rolling the knot up with his left hand as he smoothed out the fabric with his right. Mika couldn’t help it as he involuntarily let out a little “nnnh” at all the attention he was receiving. He liked being the only thing that Shu was paying attention to. It made him feel special. 

“Y’know, this kinda feels just like when ya do maintenance on me!” Mika blurted out without thinking. For them, maintenance was always romantically coded. But neither of them was willing to admit it. It was always long, loving touches, both of their attention fixated directly on the other. It was something that mere unit mates didn’t do to each other. 

It was something that unit mates who were totally in love with each other but were too stubborn to admit it to each other just to feel something. Shu knew this, too, which is why Mika felt his face heat up immediately after saying that, a feeling of regret overcoming him. 

“Errr sorry! ‘m not tryna say anythin’ weird or nothin’, ‘m just… happy, yanno? Heheh…”

Shu was absorbed in a stream of admiration as he ran his hands over Mika’s tie and chest, maybe leaning in _just a little bit_ to be closer to him. He was broken out of that trance at Mika saying that this was just like maintenance.

 _Oh god, he’s onto me,_ he thought to himself. _He’s… happy though? What does this mean? Did he like that or not? I’m so confused… This is no good, what do I even say to that_ —

“Oh… well, I’m sorry for making the situation uncomfortable for you or something,” he coughed out. Sighing, a shivering feeling course through him as his memory of embarrassing himself in front of Mika looped through his mind. The reminder that they were getting ever closer to having to leave for that dreaded event didn’t help, either. “I guess… I guess I’m just stalling because I’m nervous. I don’t want to leave. I can’t shake the feeling that something bad is going to happen.”

“Eh? Ya didn’t make me feel uncomfortable! If anythin’ I should be the one sayin’ that, with me goin’ out an’ sayin’ real weird things outta nowhere,” Mika replied, his gaze faltering. “But ya don’t have t’worry ‘bout anythin’. Nothin’ bad’s gonna happen. ‘Cuz ‘m right here by yer side. I’ll protect ya, Oshi-san.”

Shu opened his mouth to say something to retort, but his tongue stumbled and he fell silent. He didn’t want to prolong these negative thoughts anymore. Just hearing Mika’s words of reassurances were enough for now. With a deep breath, he smoothed down Mika’s tie once more before finally taking a step back.

“All right then,” Shu began. He stuck out his arm, raising an eyebrow as he looked down at Mika, silently urging him to join him. “Well, shall we go, Kagehira?”

Mika’s cheeks flushed a deep shade of pink at Shu’s gesture. They were really going to do this, huh?

Walking there together, just like a couple.

Mika takes the cue and links his arm with Shu’s. “Yeah, let’s go!”

* * *

Arm in arm, Shu and Mika entered the double doors of the dance hall. Shu saw no less than 40 different people crowding the room. It seemed like they were one of the last groups to make an appearance. Looking around, the other attendants were all wearing similar formal outfits. But none of the other units were matching like Valkyrie was.

They were making a statement.

To an onlooker, that statement would be: “they’re disgustingly in love with each other.”

To them, that statement is: “we’re together now.” 

Shu had been in this room for less than five minutes and he already felt worn to shreds by both his anxiety gnawing at him and the exhaustion being here was exerting on his mental state. The idle chatter of the crowd gave him a headache. He made a sour face at seeing all of the people crowding the dance hall and drew up his free hand to rub against his forehead. His other arm was still closely linked with Mika’s.

“Hnnnh? Oshi-san, are ya doin’ alright? We can go step out if ya want… We don’t have t’be here the whole time.”

“No, it’s alright. I can handle this. Let’s go and see if we can spend our time against the wall or something so I don’t have to deal with all of these fools.”

Truthfully, he’d much rather be in the comfort of his home, preferably sewing something for Mademoiselle. Mika would be by his side, of course. The three of them were like a little family. 

But it was no time to dwell on his ideals. He wasn’t at home; he was here, stuck at this god awful party whether he liked it or not. This was not a fun excursion in the least. He missed Mademoiselle dearly, but at least Mika was by his side.

Literally. 

Mika quirked his eyebrow, seemingly unconvinced by Shu’s response. It wasn’t time for him to start an argument. Shu wouldn’t appreciate him doting on him as if he was a child. “Nnh, alrighty. Well, c’mon, here let’s go an’—”

“Look who finally decided to shOW UP.”

Mika’s train of thought was cut off by the sound of Natsume’s voice. Turning, there he was: Natsume was standing with his arms crossed and a smirk plastered across his face. The rest of the Oddballs were visible several feet behind him, absorbed in their separate conversation. 

“Ah, Nakkun~! ‘s real good t’see ya here!”

“...So you’re here as well.” Shu tilted his head to get a better look behind him. “And so are the rest of ‘us’ it seems.” 

“Yes, with you finally making an appearance you could say that we’re all here nOW.” His eyes darted in between Shu and Mika, his gaze resting on their linked arms. “What are you guys doING? Linking arMS? What is this, the 19th cenTURY?”

“Boy. We're making _an entrance_. You wouldn’t have the slightest clue what that means, though. It’s far too sophisticated for you to understand,” Shu scoffed in response. He could feel his cheeks heat up as attention was brought to how he was linked together with Mika. Nevertheless, he didn’t let go.

“Nnnh~ Oshi-san’s jus’ a lil’ grumpy cuz there’s lotsa people here, ‘s all,“ Mika explained sympathetically. Gazing up at Shu, Mika swears he could see a faint dusting of red across his face—he was blushing. It was too hard for Mika to tell for sure though since the lights were dim. Still, he couldn’t help but smile at seeing Shu look flustered like that… especially considering that the focus of their conversation was about _them being together._ “But holdin’ him—errr, bein’ held? ‘m not really sure the difference—like this, ‘s real fun!”

“WhateVER. PDA is gross, anywAY.” Natsume shot them both a weird look but didn’t press any further.

“Mika-chaaaan!~”

Mika would recognize that voice anywhere. He turned his head to see Arashi entering his peripheral vision. “Naru-chan!”

Arashi did a small wave to Mika as she walked up to the group, bouncing energetically with a spring in her step. “Mika-chan, I missed you! Not to drag you away from everyone, but come, let’s go and catch up!”

“Yeah, sounds good! Aaahh, wait a minute. Oshi-san, are ya gonna be alright without me? I can stay if ya want. Whatever makes ya feel most comfortable!”

Truthfully, Shu wanted to be by Mika’s side the whole time they were there. But that was an unrealistic expectation. He wasn’t going to police who Mika could interact with. Anyways it seemed to work out fine since the rest of the Oddballs were here with him. He’d have someone to cling to. Not physically, though—that was reserved solely for Mika. 

“I’ll be fine. I’ll stick with my friends over here,” he replied, nodding towards the direction of Kanata, Rei, and Wataru.

“Mmmkay! Well if yer fine then, ‘m gonna go hang out with Naru-chan. You’ll know where t’find me if ya need me, alrighty?”

Shu nodded in response. Mika didn’t want to be separated from Shu because he liked how comforting it was to be by his side. Reluctantly, he unlinked his arms and started off towards Arashi. Shu flashed him a soft smile before doing the same in the direction of the Oddballs.

Natsume stood between the two groups, arms crossed as his eyes darted between them. After a moment of thinking to himself, he bounded off towards Mika and Arashi. 

“I’ve been stuck with those guys for, like, an hour alreADY. So I’m gonna go join you guYS.”

“Mmm, ‘s fine by me Nakkun. Let’s go over there, ‘m feelin’ kinda hungry. I wanna eat some snacks.”

* * *

The three made it over to a banquet table that had rows and rows of delicious-looking appetizers set on top of it. Mika reached over to pick one up to taste, popping a grape in his mouth. The three of them engaged in some mindless chit-chat as Mika kept snacking on grapes. The free food was nice—Mika had nothing to complain about.

Until Natsume asked him a rhetorical question that nearly made him choke on a grape. 

“Can you and Shu-niisan hurry up and like, y’know, make it official sometime sOON?”

“Eh?! What’re ya talkin’ about, Nakkun?” Mika feigned innocence. He knew _exactly_ what Natsume was referring to. He thought he was being subtle, dammit! He didn’t realize he was being so obvious about his little crush on Shu. 

“Natsume-chan is right, you know. It’s really obvious that there’s _something_ going on between you two. I think everyone in the whole school knows about it by now, too,” Arashi chimed in sweetly. 

“We’re all waitING. Shu nii-san’s not going to do anythING. He has the social navigation skills of a potted plaNT.”

Mika was dumbfounded. He really had no idea that his thing for Shu was so widely known. Seriously, the whole school? This was not good. He couldn’t play dumb anymore. “Nnnnh, fine. Ya got me. How’d ya know, though? I thought I was bein’ real secretive about it so ‘m really shocked actually!”

“Oh, Mika-chan.~ You innocent thing. Everytime I see you two together, you can’t stop making heart eyes at him. You probably can’t tell but to everyone else you’re giving him the most in-love stare ever.”

Mika’s surprise was full body, his jaw dropping as he gave Arashi a quizzical look.

“Shu nii-san does it tOO. It’s not just yOU.”

“Eh?! Really, ya think so?! How can ya tell that?!”

“He’s gay, Mika-kUN.”

If Mika said he was surprised, he’d be whipped for lying. Though he _was_ shocked at hearing that Shu gave him the same hopelessly-in-love glances when he wasn’t looking. It reassured him, made him melt. He wanted it to be true so, so, so bad. So very badly. 

“Well, what d’ya suggest I do then?”

“Just go talk to him,” Arashi gently encouraged, making a “shoo” motion towards the rest of the Oddballs with her hands.

“An’ what am I supposed t’tell him? ‘Hey. Oshi-san, m’friends see ya stare at me lovingly all the time, an’ apparently the whole schools knows this too, so maybe we should—I dunno—go out or somethin’.’” 

“Hmm~ maybe saying something more romantic. How about ‘I’m really in love with you, so I would be over the moon if you returned my feelings. Will you love me back, Shu-kun?~’”

“‘Over the moON?’ Eugh. This isn’t eighth grade poetry claSS,” Natsume snorted. “Anyways, it’s bold of you to assume I know anything about romantic feeliNGS. You’re asking the wrong group of peopLE. If you ask me, I think the best way to solve this would be to just lock you two in a room together for like 15 minutes so you can sort it out yourseLVES.”

“Nnnggahhhh, this ‘s real hopeless! ‘m not gonna get anywhere like this!” Mika cried out, rubbing his fingers in circles against his temples. He looked up towards Shu’s direction and saw him conversing with his group. At least he wasn’t having a full on mental collapse, like Mika was on the verge of. 

“Mika-chan, you’re staaaring~” Arashi sung out.

“For the love of gOD. Just go talk to hIM.”

“Nnnnh, I don’t think that’s a real good idea…”

“Oh my! We’re just not going to get anywhere like this. I can’t _stand_ to watch you two do this silly little dance around each other any longer. It looks like I’ll just have to take matters into my own hands! Come help me Natsume-chan.” She grabbed his wrist and began to march him over to where they had parted earlier, ignoring Mika’s (very, very, _very_ loud) protests. Natsume ran up to Mika’s other side and did the same, dragging him through the throngs of people like he was a dog on a leash. 

Mika mentally braced himself for whatever was about to happen. He hoped Shu was having a better time with the rest of the Oddballs than he was with Arashi and Natsume. 

* * *

“Shut up, Rei. You have no idea what you’re even talking about.”

Rei chuckled. “Fufu. You say that I don’t know what I’m talking about, but _do you_ ? Do _you_ realize how deep your feelings go? You say that it’s nothing more than just a minor infatuation, but I do not think that’s the case.”

“It’s true, Shu. I think your feelings are much deeper than you realize. Just like the ocean~” Kanata continued. 

“I am not having this conversation with any of you. Not now, not ever.” Shu spat out, crossing his arms and turning his head away from his friends. Focusing his attention on the other side of the room, Mika’s figure stood out against the crowd. He appeared to be… either excitedly talking with his friends, or in the middle of an argument. It was unclear which one it was, but the wild waving of his arms suggested that there was some sort of emotion attached to whatever he was witnessing.

“—right, Shu?” Rei asked. “Oh? Were you even listening to what I said?”

“Fufu, he was too busy ogling his _amour_ over there. Look, he’s still doing it. Oh, the power of love!” Wataru exclaimed, putting one hand on his chest and extending the other in the air, striking a dramatic pose. 

“Woow~ You’re right, Wataru. I can see him staring at Mi-san right now~” Kanata added, his voice gently trailing off. “You seem to really be obsessed with him, Shu~”

“See, Shu,” Rei began, a sly smile crossing his face. “This is what we’re all talking about. It’s clear as day: you’re in love with him. We’ve all seen you two dance around each other for months. Which is why I implore you to hurry up and do something. You wouldn’t want him to escape now, would you?” 

Caught in the act like a deer in the headlights. For the umpeenth time, red stained his cheeks. He wasn’t even _trying_ to blush or let his emotions be so obvious. As soon as he saw Mika, dressed head to toe in the absolutely beautiful outfit he was wearing, he just couldn’t take his eyes off of him.

“You know, how about I suggest a course of action for all of you?” Shu inquired, turning back towards his friends with a huff. “You should try focusing more on your own lives and less on mine.”

“Fufu. Where’s the fun in that?” Wataru retorted, his lips playfully curled into a good-humored smile. 

“The fun is that you mind your own business, I mind mine, and you leave me alone. Stop prying your dirty hands into my love life.”

“So you admit it’s love, then?” Rei asks.

And before Shu even has a chance to respond, he sees someone get close to him in his peripheral version.

Oh god.

Here comes Mika. 

* * *

Dragged by his wrists (partially) against his will, Arashi and Natsume park Mika right in front of Shu. Mika smiles awkwardly and brings a finger up to scratch at his nose, giggling to himself all the while.

“Heheh… errr… Hiya there, Oshi-san.”

Shu’s busy trying to process a hundred and one different things all at once. How could Rei just drop a bombshell like _that,_ and then Mika manifests out of thin air? How on Earth was he supposed to function in this situation? 

Well, at the very least Mika looked equally awkward as hell. It made Shu feel like he was less out of his element. If they were going to be absolute disasters of human beings, at least they could do it together. That wasn’t a bad thing. 

… Right?

Whatever—he was Shu Itsuki. He didn’t know _shit_ about how to deal with feelings. Time to buckle up and wing it. 

“Kagehira. What are you doing?” 

Mika turned to look at Arashi and Natsume for guidance. Arashi gave him a sheepish smile, while Natsume winked. Arashi checked her watch before making up some excuse that she was supposed to go do... something. Conveniently, Natsume added that he needed to go help her do… something. They both took off as fast as they dragged Mika back to Shu’s side. Comical.

Mika didn’t laugh. 

The remaining Oddballs exchanged looks with each other. As if on cue, one after the other they left after making some lame excuse.

“Well, Shu, looks like I’ve got to go. Kaoru over there seems to be getting a little out of control. As his unit leader, I need to go rein him in. Good luck.” Rei walked away, giving Shu a shit-eating grin as he left.

“Hmm~ I think I just heard Chiaki call me. Good bye, Shu and Mi-san~”

“I miss Eichi-kun. I’ll leave you two to it!” 

And just like that, Shu and Mika were back to where they started. Alone in the other’s presence. Shy around the other, especially considering the conversation both of them had just had with their friends. Neither one wanted to speak up, to move forward.

For the first time in forever, there was a _weird_ silence between them. It wasn’t like their usual silences, where they were just content to be with the other. Here, they both wanted more. To be closer.

But neither of them was willing to initiate it.

Teenagers.

Mika coughed awkwardly. Looking up at Shu, he opened his mouth to cut through the silence between them.

“Oshi-sa—”

“Kageh—”

“Nnnh, Oshi-san, you go first.”

 _Great,_ Shu thought to himself. _Just my luck. Well, here goes nothing. Let’s get out of here first. I can’t think straight._

“Look, there’s a balcony space over there. Let’s get some fresh air. It’s feeling too stuffy in here. I need to go collect myself.”

“Nnh, alrighty! Whatever ya say! Let’s go go go,” Mika replied with enthusiasm. He was grateful that they were heading outside for a bit. Some privacy between the two of them, free from the prying eyes of their friends and pesty onlookers, would be greatly welcomed. Shu’s comfort was also a top priority. Well, as comfortable as possible in this situation. He’d be most comfortable at home but for now it seemed like he could handle being here for a little longer. 

Shu led the way, and Mika followed closely behind him. Mika extended his hand to hold onto the fabric of Shu’s blazer. Just like a little duckling, not wanting to get lost among the huge crowd of partygoers. 

He didn’t want to be separated from Shu again. He wanted to be by his side. 

Once outside, Shu inhaled a deep breath of fresh air. The balcony space was big—enough space for maybe five people or so. But right now it was just the two of them and the stars above them. The calming piano music from the dance hall behind them could be faintly heard along with the chatter of the crowd. Here, it was easy to tune all of that out though. 

After collecting his thoughts, Shu looked at Mika. Moonlight poured over his form as he leaned against the edge of the balcony, smiling warmly to himself.

He looked so, so cute. 

Shu wanted to lean over and place a kiss on his cheek.

God.

Shu was fucked. 

Royally. 

The air between them was silent, To Shu, Mika looked absolutely content, basking in the cool night air.

On the inside? Hell was breaking loose. 

Mika was having a mental breakdown over his earlier conversation with Arashi and Natsume. If they were right, and his feelings for Shu were so painfully obvious that practically everyone that’s ever seen them _knew_ , he was screwed. Absolutely, without a doubt, screwed.

… Did that mean Shu knew, too? 

Oh god. Mika couldn’t take this any longer. He felt like he was going to burst. What if Shu knew and was going to get rid of him at any moment? In Mika’s mind, he was the exact opposite of the kind of person Shu would like. He wasn’t high-class, or elegant, or refined. He talked kind of funny and was too emotional. There’s no way Shu would like someone like him.

… Right? It was simply impossible.

Shu watched as Mika’s expression went through all the different stages of grief. With a puzzled look on his face, he decided to speak up. 

“Kagehira,” Shu began, resting his arm on Mika’s shoulder. “Is everything alright?”

“Eh—?!” Mika jumped. “Huh? Yeah ‘m uhhh… ‘m fine. How about ya? Are ya doin’ fine? I feel like ‘m the one that should be askin’ that, yanno…”

“Yes, I’m doing fine. Thank you,” Shu reassured. He didn’t really know what else to say in relation to that conversation. Instead, he gently rubbed his hand on the back of Mika’s shoulder to soothe him.

Suddenly, an idea popped in his head. His hand stilled but his heart began to race. His cheeks flared up for the umpteenth time that night. 

Well, if Mika wasn’t going to do anything then _he_ would.

Shu extended his hand out towards Mika. 

“Shall we dance?”

* * *

“Eh?! D’ya mean me?” Mika asked dumbly, pointing to himself—the only person other than Shu on the balcony. 

Shu wanted to make a snarky comment but he expressed a semblance of self control. Of _course_ he was talking to Mika. Who else would it be? Mademoiselle? She wasn’t even here. 

Instead, he opted to continue staring into Mika’s amber and lapis lazuli eyes.

Seeming to get the hint, Mika nervously extended his hand. He placed it in Shu’s and felt his hand close around his, warmth coursing through his skin at the touch.

At this, Shu pulled him close, raising their linked hands up. He reached down to place a hand around Mika’s waist. In response, Mika plants his other hand on Shu’s shoulder and meets his gaze.

At the contact, with his hand in Shu’s and Shu’s grip firm around his waist, Mika’s heart fluttered with a mixture of excitement and shyness. 

Ever so gently, Shu began to rock them back and forth. The piano music from the main dance hall was faded, but still there if Mika strained his ears. But in that moment, the sound of Shu’s voice was the only thing he wanted to hear. 

Mika smiled softly and gazed into Shu’s violet eyes. Mika’s face was tinted crimson, and he was a little shocked to see Shu’s face painted in a similar hue. Seeing this, all Mika could do was smile softly, losing himself in Shu’s kind gaze. Shu caught a view of a warm smile dancing across Mika’s face, unable to help but smile back lovingly. Here on the balcony, it was just the two of them, the lights from the party dim in comparison to the moonlight pouring over their silhouettes. It was romantic.

… Even if they’re _not_ a couple.

Totally. Not at all. Nope.

This wasn’t the first time they’ve danced together. They’re idols, after all. It’s part of the job description.

But neither of them could recall a time when they danced like _this._

It wasn’t for practice. It wasn’t part of an act, or one gear turning as part of Shu’s art. It wasn’t a dance where one of them was pulling the other’s strings. Instead, they were dancing slowly, softly. Not for anyone but themselves. They were together as one.

As it should be. 

They were dancing like they were the only ones left in the world.

Like their life depended on it. 

It was new, but they could get used to it. 

Shu held himself in admiring silence, basking in Mika’s form. The way the moonlight hit Mika’s face was beautiful—no. rather, it was _Mika_ who was beautiful. The moonlight just helped draw out his features. It shined on his eyes and they were all Shu cared to look at right now. He gazed at his partner like he was the only thing in the world, smiling softly to himself. 

“What’re ya thinking’ about, Oshi-san?” Mika smiled brightly at the dopey grin Shu had plastered across his face. 

_Now’s the time. Now’s the perfect time,_ Shu thought to himself. His “pep talk” with the other Oddballs really opened his mind up. In a way, as teasing as it was, he was inspired to act. Partially because if he didn’t, then he’d _never_ hear the end of it. Partially because he wanted to. He felt like it was now or never. Tonight was the night. He had already made it this far, dealing with all the anxiety from just being here. He was nothing if not ambitious. He was going to finally make a move. _I just need to… actually do it. I’ll never get another moment as perfect as this. Never, for as long as I live._

His heart was pounding in his throat. He took a deep breath. “There’s something I need to get off of my chest.”

Mentally, he began to psych himself up for what would either be the greatest decision of his life or his worst failure.

He can do this.

He _swears_ he can do this. 

He opens his mouth.

He clamps it shut. 

He thinks about running out of the party right now. Glancing over the edge of the balcony, the equations and formulas course through his head. If he hops off and makes a run for it, he wouldn’t die. He’d _probably_ break a leg (or two) and have to limp back home, but he’d live. 

But telling Mika how he _feels?_ How he’s _in love with him?_

 _That_ would result in certain death. No questions asked. 

There’s nothing worse than being a teenage boy in love. 

Feelings are hard, okay? 

He took another deep breath, continuing to leave Mika hanging while he fought his conscience. Okay, maybe he was being a bit dramatic. But still. He’d rather be stuck in gigantic-crowd purgatory for the rest of his life than risk getting his heart smashed into a million pieces by the world’s cutest hammer-wielder. 

Mika’s gaze didn’t falter. His eyes are glued to Shu, gaze observant over him as he engaged in some sort of total-war with his… his own self? Seriously, what on Earth was Shu doing? 

Still, his heart was pounding in his chest. He didn’t want to get his hopes up because he just _knows_ he’s going to feel disappointed. But deep down, he really hopes they’re going to talk about their feelings.

Ideally, about Mika’s feelings for Shu. And how Shu holds the exact same feelings for Mika.

Hey, he could dream, right? 

And while Mika’s lost in his own thoughts, Shu finally sputtered something out.

“I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.”

Just like that, Mika’s brain short circuits.

And within the span of less than half a second, his brain turns back on. Except this time it’s in overdrive.

What in the world? What? _What?_ What did Shu just say? He’s _in love_ with him? Was Mika dreaming?

But… he heard him. His ears didn’t deceive him. 

Looking into Shu’s eyes, he couldn’t see a hint of deceit.

Shu wasn’t lying.

He could see Shu say something else, could feel him give his hand a tight squeeze. All he could hear was the pounding of his ever beating heart. 

“O-Oshi-san…” Mika lets out with a shaky breath. “‘m I hearin’ ya right?”

Mika _knew_ exactly what he heard. But he was selfish. 

He wanted to hear it again. And again, and again, and again. Until it was the only thing he heard resonating in his ears. 

As soon as Mika asked for clarification, Shu felt his heart sink, expression becoming sullen. Oh no. He’s made a big mistake.

Mika doesn’t love him back.

There’s no going back now.

“...You heard me,” he eventually chokes out. He hopes Mika doesn’t notice how his voice begins to waver. 

“Nnn… Yeah… I did… but…” Mika began, desperately searching for the right words to use. “‘s just that… ‘m really surprised ‘cuz yer so outta m’league ‘n I always look up t’ya ‘n ‘s kinda wild that yer sayin’ that ya love me ‘cuz ya deserve someone way better than me an’—”

“You’re rambling.”

“Eh—? Ah, I am… m’sorry.”

“Anyways. Sorry I said anything. It seems that… you don’t return my feelings. Please just… forget any of this ever happened,” Shu finally says, his words trailing off brokenly. He could feel himself nearly on the verge of tears.

Mika was taken aback. He felt his jaw drop. Was that _seriously_ what Shu thinks?

If his hand wasn’t being held by Shu’s, he’d slap his own forehead.

“...Errrm. I wouldn’t say that, Oshi-san.”

What.

Now it was Shu’s turn to drop his jaw. 

Shu was fully prepared to go home and cry his heart out.

Now, he’d probably do the same thing but for an entirely different reason.

“...Can you be more specific.” It wasn’t a question.

Mika tensed up. He was nervous about sharing his feelings, about being so honest with both himself and Shu. But… he knew how Shu felt now. He didn’t have anything to lose. 

With a deep breath, he gripped Shu’s hand tighter.

“...’m in love with ya, too. An’ ‘m terrified.” 

Shu sucked in a breath.

Out of all the things he expected, Mika feeling the same way he did was not even close to being on that list. If anything, it was on an entirely separate list, explicitly titled “Things Mika Does Not Do. Under Any Circumstance Whatsoever.”

He couldn’t stop the pounding in his heart, nor the stupid smile that began to spread across his face. Suddenly, he felt all the nervousness and anxiety wash away. The tears he held back slowly began to slip down his cheeks. It was out of his control.

He was happy. 

He was in love. With someone who loved him. 

“...Well,” Shu began. “I’m terrified because I didn’t think that this was going to go in my favor. At all. Why are you?”

“I just don’t think ‘m good enough for ya.”

“Stop that. Right there. Not another word. You are _so_ important to me. Do you have any clue how much you’ve done for me? All the times you’ve stayed by my side when you could’ve ran away? Do you realize that I wouldn’t be here if not for you?” Shu began, voice quivering a bit as more tears fell. “I love you! Can’t you see that? Isn’t that enough?”

Mika just stared blankly at Shu, watching as the chain of emotions coursed through him.

“...Oshi-san. Don’t ya realize? ‘s not me. ‘s _you._ Yer the one who saved _me_ ,” Mika started, unable to stop the fat tears as they began to roll down his face as well. “Ya loved me and cared fer me. When I was so used t’never feelin’ like I was deservin’ of love. But… ya were still there. Ya taught me about love ‘cuz ya loved me no matter what. Even when _I_ felt like I was worthless ‘n no good ‘n all. Ya never left me. Ya were there the whole time and… and I love you. ‘s you. Always has been. Always will be.”

Shu couldn’t wrap his mind around what Mika was saying. He wanted to say the same thing to Mika. Because in Shu’s mind, whatever Mika thought Shu had done for him—Mika has done tenfold for Shu. 

Instead, he opted to continue cradling Mika in his arms, rocking him back and forth slowly, leaning his head down to rest against Mika’s forehead. 

“I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

And with that, Mika couldn’t hold back anymore. The sound of choked sobs filled the balcony space, drowning out the piano music coming in from the dance hall. It didn’t matter if the people back in the main room could see or hear him. 

Right now, being held in Shu’s arms was the only thing that mattered in the world. 

Shu gently placed a kiss on Mika’s forehead, whispering shushes and calming phrases to soothe him. “Everything’s going to be alright.”

After a moment of just letting all of their emotions spill, Mika lets go of Shu’s hand to wipe at his tear-stained face. Shu does the same—they both look like absolute messes right now. They came into this party looking totally put together in their matching outfits but now? They look like they just came out of a depressing movie or something.

Well, maybe not a depressing one. More like a romance story, with a happy ending.

A happy ending that they were getting to live through. 

A movie where when the credits began to roll, they were the stars headlining at the top. 

Once his sniffles were gone and his face was no longer wet, Mika leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Shu’s neck. He rested his head on Shu's chest and smiled to himself, rouge spread across his cheeks. Shu was wearing a matching expression. Shuffling his hands down ever so slowly, until they’re firmly planted on each side of Mika’s waist. Together, they gently begin to rock against each other, the piano music in the background breaking the silence between them.

After a moment, Mika speaks up. “Oshi-san… what does this make us? Where d’we go from here?”

“What do you want to do? I don’t care as long as I’m with you.”

“Does this mean… are we datin’ now?”

“... I want to. Do you?”

“Mmm. Me too.” 

And with that, it felt like there were no words left to say between them. Everything they’ve ever needed to share has been said. 

They’re together. Now and forever.

Shu takes this moment to snake one hand up from Mika’s waist, bringing it to rest as he tilts Mika’s chin upwards.

Oh, they’re really doing this. Right now. On the balcony, under the stars. 

Slowly, Shu is leaning in to kiss Mika. Mika gets on his tiptoes to meet Shu halfway.

And all of a sudden, it’s just the two of them. Shu’s eyes are closed, his lips pressed against Mika’s. He can feel Mika’s hands move up from his neck to tangle in the ends of his hair. 

Mika smiles into the kiss, melting against Shu. 

Everything they’ve experienced, both on their own and as part of Valkyrie, led them to this moment. Basking in the moonlight in the other’s embrace, kissing each other without a care in the world. 

After a moment, Mika parts his lips and deepens the kiss. Shu makes a soft sound and takes the hint. He kisses him deeply, passionately, like his life depended on it. He feels Mika pull him down a bit so he’s closer to his height.

Once they feel like they’re running out of air, they pull apart and Shu meets Mika’s half-lidded eyes with his own. Both of them are panting slightly, a lovesick expression decorating both of their pink-tinted faces. “You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do this.”

“Me too. ‘m glad we’re here now. Really.”

“I never want this to end.”

“‘s not goin’ to. ‘cuz ‘m right here. By yer side. Always.”

And just like that, they were together. 

They were where they meant to be. 

From a place of love, they were home. 

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading i cried twice while writing this so that’s how you know it’s fire /lh 
> 
> i can't function without thinking about Them literally shumika is on my mind every minute every hour every day (this is a plea for help)
> 
> anyways bye i'm off to go write _another_ shumika fic 
> 
> if you like my content please consider supporting me!  
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/sakradevi) | [my other works](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sakradevi/works) ☆彡
> 
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